You are all flawed and I am a little bit more flawed than you.
You are flawed because you go through guilt and regret every now and then. You feel guilt because you believe you are not doing what you are supposed to do. You regret not grabbing an opportunity presented to you years ago that could have placed you in a better position today than the one you are currently in.
But, the question to ask is not what you are supposed to do, rather what you are not supposed to do. Because once you take ‘what you are not supposed to do’ out of the equation, whatever remains is what you are actually supposed to do. So, here goes a couple of things you are not supposed to do.
You aren’t supposed to grow up and move away to a place and marry a person. You aren’t supposed to find a career that you love. You aren’t supposed to be a doctor, or an engineer or a garbage man or a husband or a failure or a success. You aren’t supposed to find someone who loves you. You aren’t supposed to be lonely forever. You aren’t supposed to be a Christian or a Muslim or a Buddhist. You don’t have to be anyone or anything in particular.
What is the idea that you hold about yourself? What do you think you are supposed to go on to do? Who do you think you have to be, or keep being? Where do all of these ideas come from? Were you not young once without a care in the world for who you were or what you would go on to do. It was Tuesday, and you had a bike. That was enough then, and it still is now if you can learn to let go of your rusty old unreasonable self expectation.
What if I told you that all of this is what has stolen the joy of your youth. Expect nothing from yourself, expect nothing from the day. Look through your eyes. Find what you like. Chase it.
Dont be scared to change yourself or your path, you aren’t meant for anything. The beauty in that is you always get to choose what your heart wants to grab. You have the power to choose powerful stuff.
There is value in stability and holding onto a good thing, and there is also danger in the thought “ i was supposed to”.