What pisses me off the most is when people do not do their designated work. If someone so loves to stand out of the system, one should act like a rebel. Rebels I love, lazy asses I hate to the core of my heart. All sorts of weird things have happened with me in the last few days. Yes, there is a certain limit after which you just cannot control the good or bad from happening, but there has to be a certain limit defined to stop the bullshit as well. I love the place where I live and I love the place where I work for a common reason: the degree of silence is pretty high at both the places. I can hear ants crawling in my room and I can listen to what is happening at the ground floor from my office at the first floor. I am a peace lover, well physically. Mentally, I am in a rush all the time.
My roommate is off the room for spending weekend with his family. I love this thing about him when he leaves the room all to me. I don’t have to bother about disturbing anyone with the noise of my fingers hitting the keyboard continuously over a long period. But, I wonder if he thinks the same when he puts the room on smoke to perform his morning and evening prayers. He thinks of it as his duty and he is not ashamed of disturbing anyone in that matter. Whereas I think about not disturbing his peaceful sleep and end my writing session sooner than I want to.
This week he broke the news that from now on he would leave on Fridays and return on Mondays. I am so relaxed. I will get three nights exclusively to myself every week. Though he kicks me in the face sometimes while sleeping (we share the bed), his generosity of giving me three nights a week all alone is something for which I won’t mind getting kicked once in a while.
The day I met him, he asked me whether I would mind him doing his religious rituals or not. I gave him a direct answer that I won’t but he shouldn’t be discussing with me about it ever because I hate the concept of religions. Sadly, he has been trying to prove me wrong since that day. He discusses religion a lot with me and I get pissed off most of the times because he is not able to understand the simple logics of existence. When I tell him that in every word, there is a sound of OM, he utters a word and asks me to tell where the word OM in it is. When I tell him that I was talking about the sound OM, not the word OM, he totally fails to get the idea.
He is eight years older than me. He is money minded, self-centred and I find him annoying most of the time. He would be watching a movie and suddenly he would keep the laptop aside, sit straight and start doing yoga exercises. Age is beginning to get on to him. We live on the top floor of a five storied building and he begins breathing heavily only at the stairs of the third floor. The building doesn’t have an elevator. He has a blackberry but he uses it only for attending and making calls. When I had a blackberry, I was using it for everything from flight testing to impression markings on the walls. Sometimes he gets so excited talking about the things he did in past, which are mostly related to stealing food, that his voice gets so loud to disturb the neighbours.
I am a Ludovico Einaudi fan. I cannot write without his music playing in the background. Sometimes when I am writing and my roommate is in the room, he would suddenly start asking stupid questions like how do I write? How do I think about writing a story? Why do I have to listen to this music? Don’t I find this music boring? Don’t I think there are better things in the world I can do except writing or listening to this kind of boring music? Why have I kept the Bible and the Gita in my bookshelves? Have I ever read them? I mean he has to ask me all the questions only at the time when I am writing.
Today is the last day and last night of my weekly solitude. Tomorrow morning he will return and for five days, when he will be around in the room, I will cease to be what I naturally am when I am alone. The truth is that I get influenced by people; I get affected, infected by their thoughts about me. In time, I begin to behave as they do. In time, in their presence, I begin to communicate with them exactly as they want me to because I am a peace lover and my peace of mind is more important to me than anything else in the world.
Once upon a time, when everyone tried their best to corrupt my mind, I shut myself down, I disappeared, I stayed in the dark and I stayed silent, I heard and I learnt that people did not care about me or what I had done against them, they cared for themselves. They were scared to follow my path, they still are. Their minds were corrupted already and hence they shouted out loud against me in unison. My mind is corrupted too, I too have had my moments of doubts on myself but eventually it all fades away in the end. What matters is that how peaceful you can feel while living among corrupted minds. That is what I am trying to do I guess, opposing the concept of religion at all fronts and living with an extremely religious man.
A thought crosses my mind every now and then. It is that religions preach the love of god and peace, yet those who follow religions take it so seriously that they begin to argue with anyone who doesn’t agree to them. It causes rift. Whereas my way consists of three points:
- Accept everyone as a human being.
- Find the good or bad in them.
- If there is higher ratio of good, befriend the person and vice versa.
When I shared these points with my roommate, he became aggressive. He didn’t talk to me normally for a couple of days. Like I cared! Tomorrow morning he will be back and tomorrow night I won’t be able to write as freely as I would love to or as long as I want to. Yet, I will think whatever I want to, and in my thoughts I will find a new inspiration to write on. I think it would be fair if I thank my roommate for keeping me inspired during the week. I hope he too thinks it to be fair to not set the room on smoke one evening, just for a change.