You’re ok, I’m ok.

In 1998, scientists decided to count all the bacteria on Earth. They put the total number of bacteria on the planet to be somewhere around 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, in short, Five Million Trillion Trillion. And this number is way less when someone asks me about how to describe love? I can describe it in more words than the total number of bacteria on Earth. I love for a living. I am the love ambassador!

I can write about love all my life and still, there would be a little more to write. However, I am pretty sure you won’t like to read a single article all your life! Therefore, I am trying to make you believe in love in three simple steps.

A Mother’s Love

What is sweeter than a good mother? I hope you all are blessed with such a special, precious gift. We all have a mother who brought us into the world. But a woman is not automatically a mother; she only becomes one when she gives birth to a child. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

It is fascinating to discover the multiple qualities a Mom’s love has and I will point some of them below to emphasize the beauty of a mother’s love:

  • Pure : A mother’s love is the purest love on Earth; it represents the highest level of sacrifice and since her baby is born, a mother is bound to the fruit of her womb and her love is always poured on her child. Caring from the first heartbeats of her young, through the long feverish nights and counseling the young teenage heart that has fallen in love for the first time.
  • Unconditioned : All these are done without expecting something material in return, except maybe for a loving embrace. How does she know what that baby will treat her like when he grows up? Will he respect her or not? Will he take care of her in her old age or simply forget about her? She doesn’t even care, all she cares about is to do her best to keep her child safe, giving her child an education, a shelter, all she can do to offer her child more and better than she had. As the good old proverb says “A rich child often sits in a poor mother’s lap.”
  • Steady, always the same : A mother is unaware of growth. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that supposed to mean? In a mother’s heart, it doesn’t mean a thing.
  • Tender as well as most powerful : Tender as a baby’s kiss is the way a mother can be, still, we see her fighting like a young lioness for the protection of her child, don’t you dare harm her child in any way whatsoever! She has this “mother instinct” buried deep within her soul and mixed with the purest love, it makes her the most powerful human being.
  • Forgiving : Second chances do not exist because she gives a billion chances if we can call them so. From the first steps to the maturity years, you will not find a deeper human love than that of a good mother. The heart of a mother is a deep well at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
  • Temporary Blessing : I have seen a funeral of a mother, and the pain in her children’s heart moved me profoundly. I realized more than ever that to have a mother is a temporary blessing, the more you have her around, the more blessed you are. However, sometimes the more we have that fortune, the more we get used to it, take it for granted, forgetting to appreciate this unique human being, whom we can call “mother”. The beautiful bouquets pouring in at her name don’t make up for times when we could have done that while she was alive and well, wishing to enjoy the beauty of the flowers showered with our love.

A Father’s Love

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. As a mother expresses her love at every stage, at every step, fathers cease to do so. The problem with the fathers is something very basic. They put finance as the top most priority and once money rules the head, there is no time to show feelings. But feelings are there. Every time a father looks at his children, he feels love for them. An unquestioning, undemanding love.

I was reading an article about a 34 year old mom of three children in Mumbai whose body was recently found after being missing for five years.  Apparently, after she went missing it was discovered that she was running an escort service. It was suspected that one of her clients murdered her and dumped her body.

What caught my attention was the response of her sixty eight year old father. He was totally surprised that his beautiful and loving daughter was involved in something like prostitution. As revelations about his daughter’s employment came to light he openly wondered about the clues he missed while she was still living.  In the midst of his grief and questioning, what comes through loud and clear is the unabashed and unashamed love of a father for his daughter.

The father, who described himself as “a person of decent morals,” said the sex trade is a foreign world to him.

A reporter asked him what he would say to his daughter about her business if she stepped into the room at that moment.

“If she walked in the door right now, I wouldn’t say anything. . .I would just hug her.”

This is a father’s love. It forgets poor choices. It forgets hurt. It is not really interested in recriminations or condemnation.

A Child’s Love

A child is a mirror to both his parents. A child’s love is just a reflection of the parent. Parents carry their children when they are younger, but do children carry their parents when they are old and sick? Even if they do, will they do it with the same protective & caring feeling as their parents did?

Love or the lack of it has a profound effect on the lives of children. Their mental capabilities, their fluency of speech, their observations and deductions on life, are all affected by it. A child who knows he is loved has a great head start on life.

  • He is happier and calmer. A child who is loved is at peace with the world, and is able to bear disappointments better. Without love, a child’s world is bleak. Such a child often resorts to misbehavior to get attention.
  • He is more confident of himself. He knows that he is worthy of being loved, and that is a great boost to his self-esteem.
  • He can form better relationships with others. A loving relationship with the parents makes the child a kinder, more loving person. Lack of love hardens the heart, and he could become less prone to showing love for others.
  • Has a positive outlook on life. A child who is loved looks at the world with enthusiasm He will be eager to try and experience new things. A loveless home produces a negative outlook, in which the natural curiosity and interest in life is deadened
  • The child will be more responsive to what parents tell him. Reproaches and scolding becomes bearable when he knows he is loved. Parental orders are followed with more enthusiasm.

It goes without saying that most parents love their children dearly. It is a natural instinct placed by the Creator into the heart of all parents. This love for children is a sign of the wisdom of God, for without it no parent would have borne all the pains and troubles of raising a child. However, many parents think that children know, without being told, that parents love them. They do not realize that children need to be reassured constantly. The effects of love must be evident in the speech and behavior of the parents. Children do not have the wisdom and insight of adults to realize that even punishments and reproaches are signs of love. They often perceive the actions of the parents as a proof of the lack of love. It is thus very important to display love to the child, or at least inform him about it in subtle ways. Kiss your children often, hug them, let them rest in your lap, for every display of affection will raise your status in their hearts. Remember, the greatest terror a child can have is that he or she is not loved.

I chose Parents & Children to describe love because everyone is a mother or a father or at the most a child of his/her parents. When there is a subtle amount of love flowing within the family, a certain brightness & a positive energy flows through it, which everyone experiences. I wish all of us create so much of loving atmosphere within our families that there is no need of materialistic achievements to prove the quantity of our love towards our parents or our children.


A couple was watching their 14 year old daughter performing on stage at the annual function of her school. During the performance, she twisted her ankle and the show had to be stopped. Her parents were called and informed that their daughter needed to be hospitalized as there was a suspected chance of a fracture. The girl was feeling sorry that she couldn’t finish the show. The teacher was trying to keep himself out of the trouble and concentrate on the remaining function. The couple carried the girl to the car. While the girl’s father was driving towards the hospital, the girl asked him,

“Dad, are you angry on me?”

“No. I’m not.” The father replied in a stern tone.

“Mom, are you?”

“No sweet heart, why would I be angry on you?” she replied in an emotional tone, almost crying.

“Because I invested so much time practicing for it and it all went wrong in the end. Because this is what I wanted for so many years, to perform at the Annual Function, in front of everyone. And here I am, with a twisted ankle, a shattered dream and an insult to face when I go back to school in the next session. I know you are not okay at the moment and its all because of me.”

At that moment, her father said, “Yes, I am not okay, because you are not okay.”

2 Comments You’re ok, I’m ok.

  1. Pingback: Idealism and shadows « JRFibonacci's blog: partnering with reality

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